Eric Cartman FTW!

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Written on Friday, March 27, 2009 by KayChink


Eric Cartman, eat your heart out, you don't need to live in South Park. Hundreds, thousands and perhaps even millions of us South Park Fans (myself included) love you to death and want to be more like you! South Park paints Eric Cartman to be a little more authoritative than his buddies but we all know behind that big boned friend he is just all heart. Here's how to be more like Eric Cartman.

Things You’ll Need:

  • Watch South Park
  • Have high speed broadband to stream and download South Park
  • Love Eric Cartman and want to be like him

Step1
Watch every episode of South Park at least twice. This research will begin to show you how Eric Cartman looks, acts and talks. While you are in the infant stages of mimicking, you can't be too confident until you study this kid.
tep2
Practice those important statements that only Eric Cartman could be known for. My favorite has to be, 'Screw you guys, I'm going home.' but you can't overlook others he seems to repeat foundly including 'Authorita!' and 'I'm not Fat, I'm big boned.'
"I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!"
Step3
Consider how Eric Cartman handles himself. You basically don't want to mess with this kid unless you want the wrath of a problematic child reflecting on what might happen to you. Remember the chili? To be more like Eric Cartman, make sure you don't take any crap either. None, nada, zip.
Step4
Put on some weight. Eric Cartman is the fat kid of South Park and doesn't have a problem showing it. To be a true wannabe Eric Cartman, put down those rice cakes and pick up some burgers.
Step5
Make fun of the other kids. Do you know of an episode where Eric Cartman doesn't make fun of another kid, whether it may be because of his race or issues? I think not. And to be a real Eric Cartman, you got to call it as you see it! South Park won't welcome you in unless you got the guts to call the names.

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1 Comment

  1. Unknown |

    i think mostly people watch south park . This is most popular tv show. Eric is a student of Mr. Garrison’s fourth grade class. Initially, everybody believes that Liane Cartman, a promiscuous single parent, whom he lives with, is his mother. Identity of his father comes into light in the episode entitled ‘Cartman’s Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut’. Who might have believed that the one who’s always considered as his mother is actually his father? I know you would hit your head with the wall if you’ve not watched that episode. How a woman can father a kid… yeah on South Park, she can!

     

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