Snow on Your Birthday


Written on Saturday, November 22, 2008 by KayChink

Layla : Tengok la, senyumanku yang menawan ni.. Pakai ubat gigi Lacalut, mint flavour.. EM EMMM~
Alyn : Haish minah ni.. malas aku nak layan.. 
Magz : Bila nak makan ni... dahlah aku lupa pergi toilet tadi..

Fiey : Bukak la mulut luas-luas! aku tenyeh kat muka karang
Vickz : fhdfhihnffdhjghgghhhghhhhfhhhhhffffhhhhh
Alyn : Besarnyaaaaa mulut~

Fiey : Mags, kau tau tak.....
Magz : Hehehe.. tu la pasal..
Zharif : Aku nak suap kek ni.. (tak dilayan)
Layla : Tido.. zZZzzZZzz

Vicks : (Damn.. I look cool)
Abz : Theeee..hehehe...hehehe!! I can see Shorty's nipples!!
Mags : (After taking wasabi) La-la-la-la... i see eagles~


AnimaliaTUBE Part 1


Written on Thursday, November 13, 2008 by KayChink

Tired of watching humans do it? Have a break and instead of wasting your time RedTube-ing, why don't you expand your knowledge and read these true facts~!! 

There are some positions for human to satisfy themselves and some are quite bizzare and hardcore (it is not like i've watched them.. thanks to Abz, I can imagine how different positions could give different results. Hell, he got the signs of sex poster attached on his door!) Damn~ 

Alrite, back to our real post... Did you know that some insects genitals explode during sex? If I were Abz, I would say.. "Giler, mesti buat ganas tuh! Syok ahh".. And laugh out loud. Well, there's a logic scientific explanation for that.

1. Honey Bee: Exploding Testicles
A virgin queen that survives to adulthood without being killed by her rivals will take a mating flight with a dozen or so male drones (out of tens of thousands eligible bachelors in the colony). But don’t call these drones lucky because during mating, their genitals explode and snap off inside the queen!

Strange as it is, this actually makes evolutionary sense: the snapped-off penis acts as a genital plug to prevent other drones from fertilizing the queen. But tell that to the dead drone whose penis just exploded.

Abz : (laugh out loud).. Sakit dowh

2. Bonobo: Make Love Not War

Who said that violence is the 

only way to solve fights over food or territory? Instead of fighting, Bonobos have sex! Actually, their whole societal structure seems to revolve around sex.

Bonobos use sex as greetings, a mean of solving disputes, making up for fights, and as a favors in exchange for food. They tongue kiss, engage in oral sex, mutual masturbations, have face-to-face genital sex and even have a strange "penis fencing" ritual!

Abz : Damn~ Call me too next time and i'll show you who's the king of the jungle (laugh out loud)

3. Flatworm: Make Love AND War.

If bonobos "penis fence" as foreplay, flatworms do it for real.

For flatworms, sex is more like war than love. Like all sea slugs, flatworms are hermaphrodites (they have both male and female sexual organs). In this case, the male organ turns out to be two dagger-like penises that they use to hunt as well as mate. During mating, two flatworms fight (i.e. "penis fence") to stab each other, while avoiding getting stabed.

The "loser" who gets stabbed will absorb the sperm through its skin and then scoots off to bear the burden of motherhood!

Abz : Don't come near me you cock banger!! I'll break your little weiner and shove it into your dog's ass. (laugh out loud)

4. Red-Sided Garter Snake: An Annual Mating Ball Orgy

Strange Fact 1. The annual mating of red-sided garter snakes is a tourist attraction in Manitoba, Canada. That’s because when a female garter snake emerges from hibernation, she releases a pheromone that attracts hundreds of male snakes in the vicinity to rush her and create a large squirming "mating ball."

Strange Fact 2. Like many snakes, the male garter snake has two penises, called "hemipenes," on each side of its body. The male will try to use the best-positioned penis to mate with the female in the center of the mating ball.

Strange Fact 3. As if the two facts above aren’t strange enough, turns out there is a "she-male" snake who releases pheromones just like the females do (and fools hundreds of other males to pile up on him/her). Why? Scientists think that this gives the she-male warmth and protection (and attention, too, I’m sure).

Abz : Alrite, an orgy!! I only have one wee-wee and it will always be on its best position. SMDB!! (laugh out loud)

5. Hyena: The Females Got Balls!

Female hyenas wear the pants in the family. They’re bigger and stronger than the males. And definitely much more aggressive. Heck, they even got balls. Really.

A female hyena has a pseudopenis, basically an enlarged clitoris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his penis into her pseudopenis. That’s difficult for the males, but still nothing compared to the female having to give birth through a penis!

Abz : Holy shit! Get your ass off me woman! *Puked* (not laughing because it is a very serious business..)

6. Gorilla: Big, But Not So Big.

Let’s end this lengthy article with the gorillas, the largest of all living primates.

Upside: Mature male gorillas, called silverbacks, are huge (up to 425 lb., sometimes even more). A silverback lives in a troop of 5 up to 30 females, with which he mates all year long. There is little competition for females, since a large silverback is scary and can easily protect its group from challengers.

Downside: 1 1/2 inch (~ 4 cm) penis. (Yeah, no competition for females remember?). So, remember that next time someone say you’re an "800-lb gorilla" - it may just be an insult!

Abz : What the hell are you looking at?? (We are all laughing) 

Thanks Abz, you are truly a great friend. 



Written on Saturday, November 08, 2008 by KayChink

Got bored.. 

first name: Mohd Khir Rezza
nickname: kay, rezz, kayja, kayrezz, kirez, taiko, chinko, labu. christiano!
birthday: oct 1986 hari jumaat..berkat..  
birthplace: klinik pakar wanita, melawati, malaysia (sobonar nyo lahir dalam kapal torbang..tapi tado sapo percayo..hampeh) siap kena sedut pakai vacuum lagi
time of birth: 12.30noon. 
zodiac sign: libra

–this or that–
flower or chocolate: coklet laa.. bungo buek apo? bagi ayam makan?
pepsi or coke: pepsi.. coke bila nak study n tolan panadol
pop or rock: pop.. rock bikin sakit jiwa dan memocahkan gegondang telingo
relationship or one night stand: relationship (no comment)
school or work: school.. bleh panjek pago bolakang surau n kona rotan.. high~
love or money: errr.. sukar sukar
movies or music: movies! sbb bleh tgk orang sambil dongar lagu. baru feeling
country or city: city sebab ada LRT, Metro, internet laju and shopping mall.
sunny days or rainy days: Sunny. bleh main bola sampai muntah. rainy days utk tido. 
friends or family: family la beb! apo punya soalan nih. ekau tak siuman yo?

-have you ever-
smoked: takleh tulis kat sini.. nanti satu dunia tau! hua hua. katakan TAKNAK!! 
broke someone’s heart: pernah, kalau tak bukan hidup namanya.
had your heart broken: seperti jawapan di atas
wish you were a prince/princess: of course la, bleh naik kereta kuda pergi hospital. takyah tunggu bas lama2
liked someone who was taken: ish.. lecehnyaa
shaved your head: ekau gilo ko apo?
been in love: lumrah alam
used chopsticks: pernah sampai tercucuk lubang hidung
sang in the mirror to yourself: bukan stakat tu je.. joget pun ada! sambil mencabut bulu hidung. high~

candy: cacing kaler-kaler kat metro
song: cinta antara kita
scent: bau bilik kat rumah
musical instrument: piano bleh, bagpipe bleh, dengan besi tiga segi tu. yang kita ketuk2.. namanya ape ntah
movie: afdlin shauki punya!! 
actor/actress: afdlin shauki, horikita maki.. sbab..erm.. sbab dia.. 
junk food: takleh.. sbb nanti kena sembelit
animal: kucing, arnab, tikus, tupai terbang, kuda laut, ikan paus, monyet punggung, orang utan dan dugong

ever cried over someone: pernah pernah
is there anything you wish you could change about yourself: adalah beberape
do you think you’re attractive: mestilah! duhh...
you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose: one of the 7 dwarves. :D
you play any sports: futsal, badminton, lari dalam guni, guli dengan bola kertas

list (8) random facts about yourself

1. suka pompuan
2. suka shopping slagi ada duit.. kalau takde duit pg korek tabung
3.suka nyanyi kat tempat awam
4. happy-go-lucky... chill je sbb hidup ni hanya sekali
5. suka makan dan memasak
6. masa kecik2 suka main bunga api pastu campak kat pokok pain depan rumah atok. tapi skg rumah tu dah kena gilis dengan jentolak sbb diorang nak buat highway.. abes ayam2 atok aku
7. suka tido dan bermimpi.. hilangkan tensi

Too tired... huarrhhhhhhh~ (:|

Bila Minda Berkata-kata


Written on Wednesday, November 05, 2008 by KayChink


Tersebutla kisah, hari ni dlm pukul 7-8pm.. aku sedang nyenyak tido. Pastu aku bermimpi.. korang suma ingat tak korang mimpi pasal ape? adala ingat sket2 kan? so aku nak citer pasal mimpi aku tadi. ni kisah benar! adala..tambah garam sket2 bagi citer ni nampak menarik dan sesuai untuk dibaca oleh korang. 

Ok, kisahnya bermula begini.. 

Ada sorang pemuda ni.. dia tengah cari pasangan utk jadi isteri. Aku tak sure namanya sape. sbb takde subtitle dan takde sound langsung. cam citer charlie chaplin je..
Satu hari ni, dia terjumpa la seorang gadis.. memang lawa sangat dan dia terus terpikat bila pertama kali dia nampak. Tup tup tup.. diorang pun jadi la kawin. Proses camna dia pikat, camna dia lamar tu aku tak tau sbb dalam mimpi aku tu dia terus nak kawin. Otak aku ni gatal tol la.. 

Ntah dari mana asal-usul gadis tu pun aku tak tau. Yang aku tau dia tu berambut panjang, pakai baju kurung..warna putih kot. Pemuda tu plak cam muda2, Takdela tinggi sangat.. Just nice la  kata orang2 tua. Pemuda ni pun tak tau latar belakang gadis tu.. dalam otak dia pikir nak kawin je.. maybe sbb parents dia nak cucu sangat kot.

Lepas kawin baru dia tau perangai gadis tu. Gadis tu agak misteri.. walaupun lawa giler dan akan membuat orang terliur bila melihatnya, tapi kepala gadis tu cam ada loose 2-3 skru sket. Parents mana yang tak suka bila anak lelakinya dapat gadis yang lawa, sopan santun dan tak buat masalah kan? Tapi sayangnya, gadis tu cam retarded sket. Kadang-kadang dia macam gadis biasa... gelak2, suka shopping, suka masak, orang kata normal la kan.. tapi bila satu ketika dia akan termenung sendirian...cakap sorang2.. matanya takkan berkelip walaupun ada orang tiup dan usik bulu matanya.

Dari segi luaran memang pemuda tu bangga dapat isteri camtu, orang pun akan terasa jeles. Tapi bila ada gathering cam kenduri kawin, sessi berkaraoke dan lain-lain, barulah orang tau yang isterinya agak teleng kepalanya. Orang akan berfikir.. "ohh..gila rupanya pompuan tu.." So nak taknak, terpaksa la gadis ni duk kat rumah saja membesarkan perut.

Satu hari ni, ada kejadian pelik yang berlaku. Gadis tu buat satu patung daripada kayu.. katanya itu ibunya. setiap detik dan ketika, dia akan berborak2 dengan patung tu. Pemuda itu tak tau ape nak buat.. rasa menyesal juga kawin dengan dia.Setiap hari ada kejadian seram yang berlaku.  Ada satu ketika tu masa diorang tengah seronok bantai ayam masak lemak dengan sayur oyster, tiba-tiba je mata gadis tu terbeliak, badannya keras...kaku. 
Tiba-tiba je patung tu berkata... dia cakap "kayu ibu ni dah reput.. tolong tukar"

Pastu aku pun terjaga sbb kena goreng telur untuk dinner. Aku pun tak paham sangat la apsal aku mimpi camtu. So, pandai2 la korang interprate ok?  

My Top Apple Apps Part I


Written on Wednesday, November 05, 2008 by KayChink

Yo! Chingus!

Orite, as promised I will post about my top apple apps that i've been using since i jailbroken the phone and after experimented a bunch of apps, i've decided to put some of them on a list of my favourites. In this first part of the post, i'll list the best 5 BASIC apps that i think need to be in every iphone or ipod touch coz only that the AWESOMENESS can be seen and can be felt.

Please bear in mind that these apps could make you change your mind about not having an iPhone and if you want to be part of this AWESOMENESS, contact me and I'll give you a great deal. 

One more thing, you need to have your iPhone jailbroken in order to get these cool apps. Eventhough you can get the apps from the iTunes, having your wallet empty is not a great deal and isn't cool at all.

Windows Mobile User..tissues ready? Sit back and enjoy. Karthik, jgn marah yea? hehe

1. Winterboard
This is the most basic app that you need in your iPhone. It lets you apply themes just like you apply themes in your Windows desktop. Some fantastic features, you can add video wallpaper if you are bored with the static one, sound customization, change your lock background, sms background, battery, carrier plus you can mix and match some themes as one!!

2. MxTube
It is a YouTube downloader, lets you download any videos from the YouTube. You can choose the download quality of the video either GPRS or WIFI. 

3. Cycorder
No video recording in iPhone? Well..hehe.. there is!! It has a great video quality because it uses MJPEG Compression which apparently the same compression technique used in digital camera. You can also watch the video immediately after recording it.

4. Fring
Chat anywhere any time with this app! You can download it for free from iTunes. It allows you to make Skype and other VOIP calls over WIFI or 3G and also chat with others on a variety of networks including Skype, MSN, Yahoo, GoogleTalk, AIM, Twitter and AOL.

5. Simplify 

8GB is not enough to store you media files? Have you ever wished to bring your 100GB+ media with you around? Thanks to this cool app, you could stream the music collection on your computer's iTunes media library, Winamp or any folder you want to the iPhone. 8GB iphone with 100GB+ media? Sounds impossible..but nothing is impossible for the iPhone! :D

That's all for now. I got tons of apps more for me to share but you need more tissues man and some air to breathe rite? hehe! Any question feel free to ask okay? Cya~

Medical Discovery II - Morning Bitching Fits Syndrome


Written on Monday, November 03, 2008 by KayChink

Causative Agents
Brain inflammation due to bacteria n germs which don't like to wear jeans and coats
Head injury because of waking up early in the morning and realised that today is not considered as a public holiday (so you need to pay more)
Breathing difficulty due to price increment every 15th day of the month as printed in the triple 5 folder
Epilepsy because of mind disturbing law that requires the infected person to give his identification document eventhough he forgot to bring it along

G-stringers who like to dilute the infected person with hope to live, but in the end left him with a despair

Acute Continuous Persistent Bitching (Duration 5-10min)
Chronic Continuous Persistent Bitching (Duration 10min and above, 30 min max)
Idiopathy (unknown etiology) can last for a day or maybe can happen again next week because of the recurrent episodes.
*Latent period 5-6 days
Sign of despair and moody. If disturbed can cause major damage to the brain arteries and nerves and could lead to epileptic seizures and permanent brain injury (so.... permanent bitching??? damn~)

Provide him for another 30 min of futsal
Wear jeans even if you want to go to ConMan's shop coz you'll never know when it could reinfect the cured person
Stop asking people to play futsal if you are not a morning person
Ask Isaac and Roovina to join along (Shugan if the symptom becomes chronic)

Medical Advice
*The syndrome has just been discovered and the subject is still under a careful observation so we still don't know if the agent could mutate and motify itself and infect another person.
Any latest discovery and the result of further tests will be posted.
For the time being, if you encountered the infected person, just stay calm and listen what he is bitching about or ask someone to join you because based on a test, subject will heal faster if more people are listening to him.

*Bitching is bad, but remember it started because of STOP BITCHING~