Medical Discovery III - The OPX Syndrome

Written on Wednesday, December 17, 2008 by KayChink

YO! CHINGUS~!!

Now i would like to post the result of the medical syndrome that has been the worst fear for the 4th year students in RSMU. This syndrome has been spread for almost half a decade but no one is brave enough to expose it. Thanks to Taiko Kay aka ChinguKay, you'll get the full coverage of the syndrome including some prophylaxis as the cure has yet to be found.

Etiology

The main reason of this sydrome is caused by its main host Pirogov. Legend says that he performed an appendectomy only in 5 minutes. He drew the most sophisticated diagrams and operations in human body by his bare hand. Due to that, students in RSMU (the place where they worship Pirogov.. some said his body is still in one of the Cadaver's bin) are expected to be like him..erm.. actually forced to become like him.

After a thorough research, I found that the main agent,a bacteria called pirogovcillus ispissingmeof has been passed into generations of the professors in RSMU and gradually mutated. That is why i think the characteristic of the new hosts vary from each other.

One of the host I encountered has a Double-Personality Disorder. She thinks that she is Anita Sarawak and got her face tanned like Britney Spears.

Another host has Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) or also known as Anxious Personality Disorder (AxPD) characterized by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and avoidance of social interaction. People with avoidant personality disorder often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing, and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected or disliked. They typically present themselves as loners and report feeling a sense of alienation from society. This type of host is confused and has only TIME as his friend. The person is very punctual and often has a disability of involuntary clapping and saying thank you for no reason. Also, he will spit to anyone who got on his nerve due to hyperstimulation of the salivary gland. "Pthuuu~!!" he said..

One more host i encountered is just too old. He often go sun-bathing in Egypt and ditch his students to the host with AvPD. Sometimes he got confused which is up and which is down, and in the worst case senario, he will ask the student that sits far from him to come over and scream in his ear.

Medical Picture

Exclusive interview has been done to one of the student that has been exposed to the host with AvPD. Roovina (bukan nama sebenar) told me that whenever the host called her to the operating table to show the anatomical part of the cadaver, she will undergo severe trauma and acute involuntary muscle shivering. Sometimes she will involuntarily smile for no reason. (I thought maybe because of the severe trauma in her brain that cause hyperimpulsation to her facial nerve)

Another subject claims that he has trouble to choose what food he wants to wack after the tiring hours with the host..

"He only give me 30 minutes break, how-la i want to eat? now i am confused.. shaurma or plov? or might as well i just drink tea? I think MU will win la tonite. Oii Isaac, get me one shaurma, later i pay!!"

see how troublesome it is during the 30minutes break?? 5 minutes needed to walk to the cafe, 5 minutes to find a place to rest your ass on, 5 more minutes for the shaurma to be prepared and 10 minutes to eat?? hey how about another 5 minutes? yaaa.. it is the time needed for you to go back to the hall of death and fart along the way because of indigestion. Thus the next symptom occur - flatulence (state of having excessive stomach or intestinal gas)

Another symptom discovered is somnambulism or noctambulism. Notice that the hand is still intact with the pen. It is a parasomnia or sleeping disorder where the sufferer engages in activities that are normally associated with wakefulness while he or she is asleep or in a sleep-like state. It is more commonly experienced in people with high levels of stress, anxiety or psychological factors and in people with genetic factors (family history), or sometimes a combination of both.

Lastly, this subject has just been spitted by the host with AvPD and has been in a pensive state ever since. The only treatment discovered is by pinching his 2 nipples together after the count of 3. Also, try to ask Kajol to slap "his" (the subject) brother. Need butter for his popcorn~ Hmm..pity this guy...

Prophylaxis

There are some methods that have shown positive results in order to deal with this syndrome. The best method so far is to sit and stand at the same level as the host. Try to deal this syndrome with guts and confidence. Read the topics thoroughly before you come to class, learn from the Sternocleidomastoid Syndrome girl on how to impress the host but be careful for you will get screwed if he caught you didn't know shit and still you are nodding when he asked whether you understand or not.

Sleep well during the 7 mins break during the lecture and trust me,if you follow all of these methods you will get a fantastic result in the end.

Cured subjects! (Really!!)

See how happy she is?? Yes, you can be like her too!

"Freedom at last~!!! after 2 weeks for hell, finally I can play DotA all night long! Man, I am all happy and shit..Sign my zachut book you sick old dude~"

Well as a conclusion, this syndrom has not been cured so far and every year it will keep on infecting the 4th year students in RSMU. So, reader that has been exposed before, please spread the words and if you got your own opinion about how to handle this problem, please share your thoughts here. Together we could make our class a better place to live in and create a safe environment for us to pursue our ambition as a great doctor. Thank you for your time and good luck in your OPX exam next month! Chiaoz~!!